Babysitting Batman
by Sir Cameron Dragic
Summary: When Clark and Lois go on vacation, they decide to leave their son with Batman, who is left with no choice but to act as their babysitter. However, he gets more than he bargains for when he decides to call on a certain Amazonian Princess for help. Batman x Wonder Woman
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When I helped to found the Justice League, I envisioned a startlingly quick and powerful response team to some of the larger and immediate dangers that most heroes, super powered as they were, could not handle by themselves. Well, that was the plan long before we decided to expand the Justice League, and created an effective army of superheroes that could counter any global threat at any time.

Of course now, with all of the added manpower, we all collectively found that it eased the burden of crime fighting, and allowed for more downtime in between missions, now that there was a team behind each of us to respond to threats as they came and went. What most of us did with that downtime was our own decision.

Wally decided to use said time to womanize, which I put up with as long as it didn't interfere with League business. Shayera and John spent their days wrinkling out the kinks in their relationship, after he had broken up with Mari. Obviously, relationships within the team didn't work out, and they never would, but it's not like I could realistically tell them that. Even I knew when to keep my distance.

J'onn returned to his wife as much as possible, which was good for him. As anti social as I was, I knew that he had taken it to an extreme early on, and that it was perfectly healthy for him to find some sort of social interaction. Clark did the same, spending most of his time with Lois, who was no longer his girlfriend, but his wife.

As for Diana, I didn't know where exactly she disappeared to when she wasn't needed. I suspected Themyscira, but I had no concrete info. Not that I really needed to know. I was just concerned for her, given that we are teammates and all. And me? I spent most of my time back in Gotham, usually tending to the Batcave, or working out some new inventions. Aside from that, I had to keep up appearances as Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy, by going out to events as frequently as I could, given my hectic schedule.

And that hectic schedule was exactly why I was so against the idea when Clark had proposed it. What idea, you may ask? Well, let me explain.

I was sitting in from of my computer, attending to important research on a new development I planned on making to my suit, when my phone went off. Initially, I wanted to ignore it, but whoever the caller was, he or she was persistent, and as soon as my phone died down, it started up again, until I was fed up with it and picked up.

"Yes?" I growled irritably, trying to make it clear to the caller that they were interfering with some important business.

"Bruce! Nice of you to pick up!" I heard Clark Kent, better known to the world as Superman, reply back cheerily. Clearly, he didn't read the mood. Even with all of his types of vision and hearing, he still couldn't understand when I was in a bad mood.

I sighed, "What do you need, Clark?" Knowing that it was not just some marketer, and instead, a good friend, I allowed the anger in my tone to subside, if only for a short while.

"I'll get right to it. Lois and I are going on a vacation, and we could really use some help with Jason." Clark replied sheepishly from the other end, trying his best to sneak the last bit in. But I had heard it, despite his best efforts.

"Call someone else." I answered immediately, understanding where this was going.

I wanted to hang up, and Clark sensed it too, "Just hold up. I already did, but Wally has some big trip planned out, and you know that John and Shayera can't really be bothered right now…"

"Absolutely not." I repeated on the phone, intending to shut it off, even if that meant offending the most powerful being on the planet. There was absolutely no way he was going to get me to listen to his lunacy any longer.

"Come on. You know Lois and I could really use a break. Besides, you need to get your mind off work for a bit." Clark pleaded.

"I am the Dark Knight, watchful protector of the night. I am not… a babysitter." I managed, almost choking on the thought of me taking care of a child. Who in their right mind would think to call me for help on this?

Clark's voice noticeably quieted down a bit, "Well, about that, we kind of called Alfred ahead of time, and he said that it would be fine for us to swing by. So if you wouldn't mind, Jason's at the front door already with his things."

"WHAT?" I screamed, slamming my phone down and switching the view on my computer screen to that of a video feed I had hooked up to the front door. True to his word, I saw a small eight year old flanked by a dark haired woman I knew to be Lois Lane and Clark in his ridiculous disguise. Honestly, I had no idea how he was able to keep his identity a secret with those flimsy glasses.

I picked up my phone again, relieved to see that I hadn't damaged it earlier, "You can't be serious."

"Bruce, the flight leaves in an hour. We need to make sure you can take him in." Clark replied urgently.

Muttering a few curses under my breath, I stormed into my elevator, waiting for a few seconds as it rocketed from the cave to the top floor, hearing a noticeable ding as the cabin stopped at its destination.

I jogged to the front door, which I flung open with considerable force, hearing the expensive mahogany smash into a wall, making a note to inspect the damage later.

"Thanks so much, Bruce!" Lois cried out, blowing me a kiss as she and Clark ran off into a car that really wasn't necessary, considering that Clark could fly, and tore off, leaving me slack jawed with a child at my front door.

Yep. Clark was dead. Definitely dead.

"Alfred!" I screamed out, expecting my loyal butler to pop out from whatever nook he was in to aid me, but I was met with silence.

"Alfred!" I repeated, stomping to the kitchen, where he usually was, only to find a note on the countertop.

"Dear Master Bruce. Unfortunately, my mother has fallen rather ill of late, and as such, I will be gone for the rest of the month. My sincerest apologies for the late notice." I read out loud, jaw dropping as I did so.

This could not be happening to me.

I returned to the open front door, where Jason Kent was still waiting for me, a blank look of expectance on his face, which strongly resembled Clark's own, with the only difference being the violet eyes he had inherited form his mother.

"Er, why don't you come in?" I suggested awkwardly, doing my best to formulate some sort of solution. Anything I could to get out of the situation. I mean, what was I going to do with a child? My mind went completely blank, and I found that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do.

"Think Bruce, think." I muttered to myself, pacing back and forth while Jason observed curiously, not saying a word as he slowly stepped inside, probably unnerved by my frenetic behavior, but could you blame me? I mean, here I was, looking forward to a weekend of tinkering when I suddenly had to take care of a child.

My mind scrolled through every possible solution before it switched to desperation mode and I began thinking of someone who could help me in this situation. Calling in Wally, John, Shayera, or J'onn was out of the question, as they all had something else to do, apparently.

I could ask the Question, but then again, while he was a trustworthy member of the Justice League, I severely doubted that he had any more capability in dealing with children than myself. Green Arrow and Black Canary seemed to get along pretty well with children, but I didn't want to imagine what they would do to my house if Jason got to be too much for them. Maybe I could give Commissioner Gordon a call. He had kids of his own, so he was probably the most knowledgeable person I could turn to…

Then, it hit me. Maybe there was one person I could turn to. It was a long shot, but I supposed anything would be preferable at this point than my alternatives.

I whipped out my iPhone, and scrolled down my contact list until I reached the number of Diana Prince.

* * *

**I've been watching a ton of Justice League lately, and I was reminded of my favorite pairing ever, Wonder Woman and Batman! However, I don't want to continue this if no one is interested, so if you guys want me to continue, please leave a review or PM, and thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I really appreciate all of the feedback! I hope you guys enjoy the continuation of Babysitting Batman!**

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Chapter 2

After about ten minutes of awkward silence between me and Jason, the doorbell mercifully rang. I shot out of my chair and dashed to the front door, opening it to reveal Diana Prince, also known to the world as Wonder Woman. She was dressed in civilian clothes, with a red sweater and dark jeans that I couldn't help but to notice accentuated her already impressive body nicely.

"I appreciate the help." I sighed, giving Diana a terse nod. I really wasn't one for hugging or all that, except when it was necessary.

"I figured that if the Batman, Mr. Independent himself, had to call for help, it was something serious." She replied with a triumphant smirk. Okay, she was definitely enjoying this way too much.

"But I thought that you raised kids before. Shouldn't you know how to handle them by now?" Diana asked before she stepped inside.

She had a point, in a way. But the fact of the matter was, my style of parenting wasn't conducive to the way that Clark and Lois had likely raised Jason. When I had taken in Dick, it was to help train him to become a vigilante like myself. Not exactly the same thing as normal parenting.

"Bringing up crimefighters isn't the same as babysitting normal children." I replied quickly.

"True." Diana conceded, making her way to my living room, where Jason was still sitting, staring at one of the paintings that hung on the walls.

"Hey there!" She greeted with what seemed like genuine excitement in her voice. Apparently, she thought that the best way to reach Jason was going to be high fives and cheeriness. Of course, I knew better than to think that it would be so simple. I have a skill for reading people that I've acquired over the years, and as far as I could tell, Jason was not sociable in the least, so a technique like the one Diana was trying to employ would only end in failure.

"Hi, Miss Prince!" Jason replied with a vitality I had not seen from him before.

Wait, what?

"Look at this Bruce, all you needed to do was to speak up a bit." Diana said, a smug grin on her face.

I knew what she was doing to me, but I, being the mature one, refused to bite. All I did was nod appreciatively in reply, although I secretly wanted to strangle Jason for subjecting me to this treatment. I couldn't have been _that_ hard to approach, right?

"Anyways, I thought that it would be a good idea to bring some games over for us to play together." Diana continued, producing a large bag from behind her and setting it on the ground.

Play together? She couldn't possibly be thinking about involving me in this, could she? I mean, the whole reason I had called her for help was so I wouldn't have to spend any of my time on this.

"Look, I have a lot of work to do in the Batcave, so if you'll excuse me." I said, turning to leave the room, but of course, I quickly had a feminine hand grabbing me by the collar and pulling me back, even as I struggled helplessly against Diana's impossibly strong grip. Darn Amazons and their super strength.

"Come on Bruce, it's a Tuesday afternoon, you know that the Joker saves up his plans for the weekends." Diana joked, although I was not in the mood to laugh.

As such, I didn't bother to dignify her with a response, and I tried to break free once more, only to be met by a frown.

"Seriously, just one game." Diana pleaded, her tone suddenly taking on a tone of desperation that made me reconsider my actions.

* * *

"Six." Diana called out and I moved my top hat forwards the required number of steps, landing on a dreaded blue space that was augmented with the ominous red of a hotel.

"Boardwalk?" I cried out, incredulous that such bad luck had befallen me as I paid Jason the last bit of colored bills I had, "Bankrupt."

We were playing Monopoly, which was only one of the many games that Diana had brought along with her. And no, I wasn't playing because Diana asked me to. I was playing to teach Jason a bit about how the real estate business worked.

"Wow Jason, you're really good at picking up the best properties!" Diana exclaimed, rubbing the boy's shoulder playfully, having already been bankrupted long ago by Jason's ownership of all of the railroads.

"Too good." I muttered to myself as I studied Jason's intense expression. It was clear that he was deep in thought, a departure from the more carefree personality he had put on earlier when he was talking to Diana.

He really was similar to his father. Both of them could be completely relaxed one moment, and then deathly serious the next. Most people didn't see the side of Superman that I knew personally, and no one knew better than me that he took his job much more seriously than his demeanor let on.

Of course, just because Jason was similar to Clark didn't mean that I was going to take this loss lying down. I was the Batman damn it! And the Batman did _not_ lose games of Monopoly to eight year olds, son of Superman or not.

* * *

"I can't believe I lost again." I whispered to myself as I stared down the board, which had been untouched since the end of our fifth round of Monopoly. All in all, Jason swept me and Diana in all five games while I consistently took second, although that didn't mean much in the light of the fact that only three of us were playing.

"Hey Bruce, you okay?" Diana asked softly, gingerly placing a hand on my shoulder, "I know that was rough for you."

"I'm fine." I fired back, bristling at her touch. Okay, I wasn't fine, but I wasn't just about to admit that I was upset over losing in a board game.

"Well, on the bright side, at least he's asleep." Diana sighed, gesturing to Jason, who was indeed sleeping on the couch at the moment.

"I'll put him in his bedroom." I replied softly, picking up Jason bridal style as quietly as I could, in an attempt to avoid waking him up.

The two of us navigated the mess of corridors that my mansion contained until we came to the guest bedroom that was located next door to my own room. Diana opened up the door for me and gasped as she stared at the contents of the room.

"Wow Bruce. I knew you were rich, but…wow." Diana said in awe, at a loss for words.

"This used to be my room growing up." I informed her, pointing to the ornate queen sized bed that I had placed Jason in, "I slept there until I took over Wayne Enterprises."

My eyes fell on Diana, who was standing in the middle of the room with a little smile on her face.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked, my brow arched in interest.

"I'm just thinking about how cute you were as a kid." She replied teasingly and to my surprise, I felt my cheeks redden at her comment.

"I haven't been a kid for a while." I muttered, and immediately, I saw Diana's face fall. She wasn't stupid enough to miss my implication, and I knew that she was feeling bad about what she had said, but at the same time, I didn't know what to say to her, so as much as I didn't want to, I was forced to let her be.

Silently, I led her out of the room and across the hall to her own bedroom.

"Bruce, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I wasn't trying to…" Diana began, but I stopped her before she could go any further.

"I'll see you in the morning." I quickly cut in before I turned on my heel and walked into my room, locking the door behind me.

I've never really been one for apologizing anyways.

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**Looks like some drama is starting up already! I'm sorry for the slow updates, but hopefully you guys will stick with me and this story! Also, I was thinking about maybe doing a chapter later on from Diana's perspective, so please, tell me what you guys think! Like last time, if you guys are still interested and want the story to continue, please let me know in a review or PM. Thanks!**


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